Athletes will enter the water via a giant slip-n-slide. [video_lightbox_youtube video_id=”9W0zgI9mmS8″ width=”640″ height=”360″ anchor=”Click here to view Slip-N-Slide video. It’s Amazing“]
During at least one sprint triathlon per year athletes will be required to race on “for hire” bikes.
Prior to crossing the finish line, each athlete will be required to perform in a “dance off.” Tasteful modifications to the athlete’s tri-suit to fit each event’s theme are encouraged. Proposed themes include: Game of Thrones, Carnival and Hello Kitty.
The aqua bike option will now require the athlete to use an actual Aqua Bike.
On the run, athletes are encouraged to wear propeller hats or functional hydration/beer hats.
Athletes in the penalty box are now required to dismount, sit in coin-operated massage chairs and listen to smooth jazz to make certain that they are truly sorry.
Athletes picked at random will wear shark fin swim caps during the swim and run.
The first three athletes into T1 will be required to place tassels on the ends of their handlebars.
Transition areas will be carpeted and strewn with squeaky pet toys.
Swimmers must wear goggles the same color as the swim buoys.
Athletes who do not wish to run may now participate in the Zorbing (globe-riding, sphereing, orbing) option.
If, in the opinion of referees, an athlete’s bike has too many gels taped to it a full dispenser of Play-Doh will be substituted.
At least one volunteer at each aid station must dress as a Hanna-Barbera or Looney Tunes cartoon character.
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