- Lost on an unfamiliar trail at Panther Creek State Park with darkness coming on you sit on a stump and eat a protein bar thinking to yourself, I could be at a steakhouse right now.
- Out on a long hot dusty run your hydration vest runs dry. You actually consider drinking from the horse trough on the equestrian trail.
- You run up on a hiker wearing headphones with their dog on a 15 foot lead. You try to ease past, loudly and firmly saying “on your left.” The frisky Husky runs a circle around you, taking you down. Laying on the trail you realize that you have just been bulldogged by a dog.
- It’s 95 degrees, 90% humidity and six miles from the closest trailhead, You’re covered in sweat and dirt. You encounter a little old lady on the trail, dressed all in white with white shoes, and her adorable little fat dog. There is not a speck of dirt or a drop of sweat on either of them. How the heck does she do that?
- Coming around a curve you hit what you can only describe as a Slip N Slide of horse manure. You frantically run, skid and turn your way through without going down. About 100 yards down the trail you make a mental note to look up triple Salchow because you think you may have done one and stuck the landing.
- You are mercilessly buzzed by a horse fly for over a mile. Finally in desperation you immerse yourself in a stream which seems to get the fly off your case. Later in the shower you find a leech attached to your thigh. You buy an “I hate nature” t-shirt.
- You happen upon a group of little kids running loose on the trail. You manage to dodge and dart around them only to be clotheslined by their troop leader. When asked about the bruise and abrasions at work the next day you reply “bar fight.”
Pick a number! Which one is your favorite or sounds like you?
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