7 Signs Your Cat May Be Plotting Against You

  1. One morning you notice that your cat is dressed as a cereal box and you fear it’s an ambush attempt.
  2. Your cat is reading a murder mystery over your shoulder, and you think he’s looking for ideas.
  3. You pull out your sofa to vacuum behind it and find your missing steak knives among the catnip mice and ping pong balls.
  4. You notice that the dead animals your cat leaves for you on the back porch have been shot.
  5. You find your knife sharpening stone next to the scratching post.
  6. You discover that your cat has been using your phone to text someone named Jock “Knuckles” Murphy.
  7. A copy of Assassins for Hire magazine came addressed to Mittens Catt.

Pick a number! Which one is your favorite or sounds like you?

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