1. A sporty SUV with an integrated bike rack, ice maker, and small washer/dryer combo for the summer triathlon season. Optional extras include an external shower attachment and a little tree air freshener with a patented “not a locker room” scent.
2. Puncture-proof bike tires with ultra-low rolling resistance. As a bonus, at cadences over 90 rpm, they softly play your workout playlist. At cadences below 80 rpm, it’s all smooth jazz.
55 Gifts for Runners, Cyclists, & Triathletes Mostly Under $50
3. A smartphone app that keeps track of calories consumed and calories expended, reminds you to get the oil changed in your car and rotate the tires, provides workout information, and automatically texts your spouse to say that you are crushing your workout, running late, and definitely not at the bike shop looking at new bikes.
4. A spray-on wetsuit that is slippery, buoyant, and also functions as sunblock. Volunteers strip it off by hitting you in the chest with an ultrasonic hammer … gently.
45 Gifts for Runners, Cyclists & Triathletes Mostly Under $50
5. New GPS watch that automatically senses when you enter and exit transitions, beeps repeatedly if you go more than slightly off the published course maps, and shows the shortest routes to all nearby ice cream trucks. If they are moving, it will plot an intercept course.
6. Time release gel that provides all the nutrition you need to complete an iron-distance race. Do not, seriously do not, shake before consuming. (You don’t want to know.)
7. Combination bike/running shoe that configures itself to match your pedals, automatically forms tread for road or trail races, and has an emergency “pontoon” feature for extreme wet conditions or kids’ birthday parties.
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