Sometimes I Run Angry :: swimbikestumble

I’ve been thinking a lot about motivation this week. Mainly because I seem to be lacking it. In my world motivation seem to either be an all-you-can-eat buffet or a closed taco stand without much in meal choices in between. My mental landscape seems to feature waterfalls and desert vistas and not much else. I’m still working on that whole moderation, balance thing.

I’ve been thinking back to epic training sessions for epic races and trying to recall what got me going and kept me going. I am reluctant to admit it but sometimes I run angry. I don’t think of myself as a particularly angry person. My life has had it’s ups and downs but I know plenty of people who have had and overcome worse.

Most times it’s therapeutic. If I’ve had a really tough day at work or am dealing with what seems like more than my share of stress, a good hard run relaxes my muscles and my mind. Other times anger seems to be an accessible, mental fuel to keep me swimming, biking or running.

A lot of the time I’m mad at myself. I could train better, eat better and deal with stuff better. I get angry at myself for being a panicky open-water swimmer, a inept cyclist and a slow runner.

Other times I’m just angry. Like most people I see myself as the plucky hero of my story. I also see myself as a fighter: determined, grim and totally ready swim, ride and run to victory as I see it, which is usually not being last in my age group. Yeah, I heart the PRs (PBs if you’re British) whether they be time, distance or just completing a tough race.

My mother would have told you that I am fiercely determined. My father would have told you that I’m too dumb to quit. I’ve come to believe that the truth lies somewhere in between. Stumble on!

Playlist Favorites

Here are some of my favorite songs from my workout playlist. I freely admit many are more suitable for preparing for a gang fight than for a meditation session. That said, the have a beat, intensity and they work for me. What do you listen to when you workout? Always interested in your comments.

Till I Collapse by Eminem (Explicit)