7 Signs Triathlons Ate Your Dignity

  1. You still won’t talk to strangers on an elevator but you will strip naked in a changing tent with 100 other athletes.
  2. You actually brag about your ability to pee while on the move: swim, bike or run.
  3. You were once found passed out next to your bike in a public park. To this day you insist you were looking for a lost contact lens.
  4. You have had people swim over you so many times in races that you now consider it a free massage.
  5. On one ride you got so lost your Garmin display actually read WTF.
  6. One time realizing that you forgot your salt pills. You stopped at at roadside diner and stealthily – but still wearing your bike shoes – crossed their wooden deck and stole a salt shaker off one of the tables. For this daring daylight crime your training partner nicknamed you, the Salt Ninja.
  7. You foolishly increase your run distance too fast and develop a bad case of shin splints. When asked why you are walking weird, you claim to be practicing a Romanian folk dance. People point out that you are Irish.


Al Dockery is a PTA (physical therapist assistant) based in the Upstate of SC. He is a former award-winning writer and editor, who has worked for publications including Textile World and Furniture Today. He is a NC native and a NC State graduate.

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